Annoyance.

It happened again.
I got sad,
No, sad isn't the right word.
I wanted to stop.
Stop trying;
Because I fail anyway.
Stop smiling;
Because I'm ugly either way.
Stop talking;
Because I annoy others with every word I say.
Stop loving;
Because they won't love me back any day.
Stop involving;
Because I'm not required anywhere.
Stop existing for a while;
And just take a long break.
I don't want to die,
No, no, I know better.
I just want a rest.
A sleep that will energise my soul.
A sleep that will make me feel refreshed.
A sleep that will make me want to keep going.
I feel like I've disappointed everyone.
Annoyed them,
Broken the last straw.
I'm a terrible human being.
And I don't deserve to exist.
No, I don't want to feel better.
I deserve this pain.
I hurt everyone.
Sure, I say sorry.
But what use is tape
For a heartbreak.
I will get better soon.
This has happened a million times before.
But it still hurts the same.
It goes right to the core.
I will be happy again.
This is just a mood swing.
No, I'm not bipolar.
I refuse to accept it.
Being anxious is enough.
I'm too young, to carry so much.
I will go back to the same.
I will smile again.
I will forget that this happened
But I won't forget the things I tell myself.
I won't forget the rude remarks.
I was never bullied by anyone.
But I was bullied everyday.
By the worst bully ever.
The person who knows me the most
I was bullied everyday
By me myself.

_________________________________________

So a few days ago, I felt really down. And I decided to express my feelings by typing stuff into my laptop. A few days later, today, when I re-read it, I felt like it depicted my feelings accurately (maybe giving me a cringe attack)  and I decided "hey, this isn't that bad, I'm going to post it." And here we are.

I hope you are feeling good!
Please take care of yourself because I love you.
xx