Friday, 2 September 2016

So.... I went on a vaction.


This is going to be my first blog post where I'm just going to write stuff that come from the creative side of my mind and where im not going to care if my writings are in the right format.

I'm not going to reveal where I went but im going to say: it was beautiful.
I have social anxiety, if you didnt know already, and I have to say, going on vacation was really calming.
I hate going out from where I live because of the fact that I can see anyone and everyone from school anywhere and everywhere. But, when I went to this "beautiful" place for vacation, I started becoming myself.
One of the main reason why I don't like going out is because I may see my "friends" and the reason I dont want that to happen is because everyone in my school was born to do one thing and that one thing is: you guessed it, gossiping. Along with social anxiety,  im really insecure about myself. So, I'm just really scared if they would make fun of the way I dress or about how I was barefaced or just about anything.
But when I was at vacation, I didn't have to care about anyone seeing me or mocking me because all the time, I heard in the back of my mind that noone there knew me and that this was the last time I would be seeing everyone and that really helped.
I wore just about anything I wanted, didn't shave everyday (keep in mind, I'm extremely hairy) tied my hair anyway I wanted, went full on bold with makeup, went barefaced and without makeup, and, in a long time, went crazy and became myself.
I actually laughed to my heart's desire that my mum reminded me that I seldom laughed and this "new" me was her favourite me.
I didn't have very good wifi there and because of that, I wasn't always connected to the internet and at that time it made me annoyed but now, I actually like the fact that I didnt get much wifi because then, I'd be insecure about my pictures and worry about others judging me via the Internet.
But then I came back and a few days later, school started and I decided to go out a few days after that and BAM! Insecurity. Insecurity.  Insecurity. The worst part? I was buying some stuff from a grocery store with my mum and I actually saw a school mate and I literally hid behind an aisle and told my mum to call me when they were gone.

Things I learnt from my vacation:
1) people judge, that's human nature.
2) you can't change people's opinion about you.
3) be yourself.
4) everything happens for a reason.
5) not everything goes according to plan. They go according to whatvwas meant to be.

Oh, and guys? I got Harry Potter and the cursed child.
(Review + glamour shots coming soon)

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