Sunday, 15 May 2016


I apologize again for not uploading. But in my defense, I told you that I don't have a planned schedule. I'm doing this just as a hobby and to have fun. I am really trying to upload regularly but schoolwork is coming in between and I really want to do well this year.

January and February were awesome. I was having an amazing time. I had won many prizes, schoolwork was amazing, I scored really good grades, my social life was also good; I had so much fun with my friends; we went to theme parks and had really great times. Even the weather was cooperating.

Then, during March, spring break arrived. I was convinced that it would be like the previous months and that I would be positive.

But, unfortunately, my predictions were wrong. I ended up losing all the people I kept close to my heart. No, no one died, no one betrayed me or anything. It was like we were separated. Forced to separate. It's true- When the time comes, you have to leave the things close to your heart and be willing to sacrifice certain things. And I did.

And so, everything changed.

I hate change. So, automatically, I hated my new life too.

The purpose of this 'change' was to make my life better but all it became was worse. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. I used to hate my life. My old friends were still there but I still felt alone. I decided to keep all my problems to myself. I went through a 'phase' of depression. I used to get anxious at the smallest things, never get out of my house and I lost interest in everything I did.

Once, to make myself feel better, I went to watch a movie along with my sister and some of our friends that I'm not really close to. But, I felt horrible. While we were in the food court, my sister went to get something and left me alone with her friends for about 5 minutes. But it felt like 5 days. I teared up and was about to burst out crying. No one noticed, thankfully. But I had the worst 5 minutes of my life that day. When I reached home, I locked myself in my room and burst out crying.

I really wanted things to change. I wanted it to go back to the old times- when I was the happiest, most self-confident person anyone met. But I simply couldn't. I spent hours on the internet, trying to find motivational quotes to make myself happier but none of them had any effect on me. I used to stand in front of the mirror, trying to convince myself that I was amazing. These had an effect on me but they lasted only for a few seconds.

I am proud to say that I am recovering. I am slowly seeing myself go back to the old times. And I know that it's slow, but it's happening. I'm slowly gaining my confidence and my happiness back and I just can't wait until I'm fully recovered- until I'm back to the old Crystal.

And too anyone who went/ is going through a similar phase; Don't make the same mistake I did. Please talk to someone you trust. I'm not fully recovered but I've made an improvement. And I'm pretty much the weakest person I know. So, if I can do it, YOU CAN DEFINITELY DO IT!

You go, GURL


  1. Putting yourself first is one of the hardest things one can do. I've learnt that the hard way as well.
    I hope you feel better and that summer's treating you well.

    1. Aww.... thank you SO SO SO much for checking my blog out! and you even bothered to comment! YES, I AM feeling better. THANKS FOR ASKING. I hope you're having a great life as well. stay positive.