Tuesday, 13 September 2016


Okay, do before I start thisblog post, let me say, I'm sleepy. Really sleepy. And after that, let me say that when I'm sleepy,  I act as if I'm drunk. So, excuse this blog post if it's a little cheesy, or even a lot cheesy.[even though no one reads my posts :'(  ]

I have dreams. Lots of them. Ever since I was a kid, I was a vivid dreamer. One of my biggest dreams since I was a kid was to become a pilot. And that has, since then, been my main dream. I've always wanted to go to the literature industry and umm, I'm kinda shy to say this, become an author or even just a magazine editor or something. My life goals go like this:

Age 17- graduate school
Age 18- join college
Age 21- graduate from college
               Start working as a pilot
Age 25- go to learn English literature,  professionally
               Start a business with one of my siblings
Age 27- work as an English teacher, editor, or just start up with my book and if all else fails, keep flying high in the skies.
               Also, get married. 27 is my deadline.
Age 30- retire from my pilot job and take up writing and teaching as a full time job.
Age 40- have kids. 4 of them.
Age 50- enjoy life, take chances, live joyfully.

Ok, you must have noticed, my life isn't really that clear from 30 onwards. That's because I haven't thought about life since 30. Maybe when I'm older and 27, I'll stumble upon here and think about completing it.

The reason why I made this is because recently I've been really confused. During summer, I went to my home country and the first thing most people asked me was what I wanted to do and this time, it was different.  Normally, it was a playful question.
"Haha, Mabel, whatchu wanna be when you're older?" "You know what, uncle Sam?  Today I really feel like I wanna be a fish."
"Yup, nice career choice."

But now, it was different. They asked this question. But in a very serious tone. And I'm going to be honest. It was scary. I had the shivers. Shivers in fear of what happened. And according to others, pilot isn't a real profession.
"Mabel, what are your career choices for the future?"
"Umm, uncle Sam,  I really want to be a pilot."
"I'm not joking,  Mabel, a pilot isn't a real job. You need to think more professional. Like a doctor,  like your sister. "
*falls into a spiral of confusion and existential crisises*

Okay, maybe that is not completely true, but almost what happened.
And I'm still not sure about what I'm going to doooooo :"(

What do you think?  Should I continue with my own choice or think more professional and do something that does not give me satisfaction? Have you, too, encountered something like this?

Who am I talking to? No one reads these stuff anyway.


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