tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68447602906621066772024-03-13T05:29:51.475+00:00The Iridescent DandelionA teenager's little space on the internet.The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-2603929102582663392017-05-06T10:06:00.001+01:002017-05-06T10:08:51.283+01:00Coping with stress.<p dir="ltr">Hey there!</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, I've been really busy lately, doing nothing in particular. Do you understand what I mean? Instead of doing the things I'm supposed to do I just end up doing nothing in particular and just stressing out about all the work I have to do. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My mental health is pretty fine. I guess. I've been crying a lot lately, but I've also been laughing a lot. My grandma used to tell me that if you laugh a lot, you'll end up crying later. So, I guess that is what is happening to me right now. </p>
<p dir="ltr">School is really stressful. Last week, I had a maths test which I sat up the entire evening studying for, but I ended up getting a C. I cried about it later. But then, the next day, we had a surprise test in maths and I ended up getting an A+ which really confused me because I didn't even touch my book the previous night.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Exams are coming up and I'm super stressed. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I guess all I want to say in this blog post is that I'm stressed out but still happy?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Confusing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">So I decided to do things to cope up with my stress:<br>
•talk to myself about whatever is happening<br>
•eat biscuits<br>
•watch YouTube (not a good idea if you're struggling for time)<br>
•paint!</p>
<p dir="ltr">The last one was a pretty good idea and I actually began watercolour. It was a bit difficult because I am new at it but it is relaxing especially doing the 'wet on wet' technique (it is basically when you paint on water painted on paper. Google it) and I ended up painting a dress today. It's not really good because I was just checking out all the cool techniques and experimenting and the picture does have a lot of editing done on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope you enjoyed this blog post! <br>
What's going on in your life? Tell me in the comments</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKajg6YR8o1HAX24aZhfks5pOpwxVAG3OMc_0gcCRuE6mA7Bkt5hcJrYdb2fnHLJGS_uLFVfr785kZzJcOulGZT-IesSUJjkwzRu9Dw2avlRElHYZkVChytfXp7BZrzIK-um7cSpN6JkD/s1600/download_20170gu.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKajg6YR8o1HAX24aZhfks5pOpwxVAG3OMc_0gcCRuE6mA7Bkt5hcJrYdb2fnHLJGS_uLFVfr785kZzJcOulGZT-IesSUJjkwzRu9Dw2avlRElHYZkVChytfXp7BZrzIK-um7cSpN6JkD/s640/download_20170gu.png"> </a> </div>The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-19215579258276823312017-05-03T18:08:00.001+01:002017-05-03T18:08:35.046+01:00my parents ♡<p dir="ltr">I love my parents because despite being fifteen, an age where children lie to their parents, I can tell them the truth and not be afraid. </p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-20286823217340727142017-04-26T14:44:00.001+01:002017-04-26T14:44:26.050+01:00Embarrassing myself<p dir="ltr">It's the 500th time I'm embarrassing myself for the same reason.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Humming too loud.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-42107116703001992822017-04-21T11:21:00.001+01:002017-04-21T11:21:20.167+01:00Social anxiety triggers #6<p dir="ltr">Going somewhere where I know nobody.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-70759541330242089402017-04-21T11:20:00.001+01:002017-04-21T11:20:32.166+01:00Social anxiety triggers #5<p dir="ltr">Standing on a zebra crossing, waiting for the green light.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-23574037300267326672017-04-21T11:18:00.003+01:002017-04-21T11:18:58.173+01:00Social anxiety triggers #4<p dir="ltr">Walking alone.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-43422320551180748292017-04-21T11:18:00.001+01:002017-04-21T11:18:08.226+01:00Social anxiety triggers #3<p dir="ltr">Seeing myself in a mirror in public and realising I look ugly.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-23968240787795761442017-04-21T11:16:00.001+01:002017-04-21T11:16:48.653+01:00Social anxiety triggers #2<p dir="ltr">Seeing people I know in public.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-29062093681836265772017-04-21T11:15:00.001+01:002017-04-21T11:15:27.537+01:00Social anxiety triggers #1<p dir="ltr">Going to crowded malls or crowded places in general.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-78798374863526280472017-02-22T17:56:00.001+00:002017-02-22T18:09:31.541+00:00FIFTEEN YEARS OLD<p dir="ltr">HELLO!</p>
<p dir="ltr">I AM FINALLY FIFTEEN!!!!!<br>
*insert birthday horn noise*</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yeah, yesterday was my birthday and I had probably the best day of my life since a year.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This birthday, I have decided to:</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Leave behind my 'sad' self from March 2016 and smile when I'm happy</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Be myself and crack my lame jokes because I realised that my 'lame' is actually others' 'funny'</p>
<p dir="ltr">• I know I told myself the same thing last year too and ended up being terrible at it, but worry less about what others think. I heard this quote from 'fantastic beasts and where to find them' it's pretty famous so if you don't know it, I'm in awe but it goes: <i>worrying means you suffer twice.</i> So this year I'm going to try to live by that.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• what's the point of these anyways. I'll do things depending on my instincts. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh, and I had a beautiful birthday which I'm so thankful for. I'm absolutely grateful for such nice people in my life. So, shoutout to:</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Sierra: I love you, you amazing person who's gone through so much without telling anyone. You're so tough and thankyou so much for doing all the things that you've done for me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Affinity: (yeah, I know, cool fake name) but thankyou so much for just listening. You know almost all my secrets and I don't think I'd trust anyone more than you. You tolerate my weirdness and act as if everything I say is normal, and just... just... <i>thanks.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">• Andrea: I just want to say thankyou for all the amazing memories you gave me, you sexy beast. All our inside jokes seem to make me laugh, no matter how sad I am and standing next to you makes me look short, so that's basically the only reason why you're my friend.<br>
Oh, and you help me get guys. Well, not exactly 'get' but they atleast glance in my direction.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Annabeth: thank you for staying by my side for this entire year and I think you are so under appreciated for listening to my rants. I mean, even my own mother ('sup mum, I'm sorry) told me that my rants are boring and you manage to listen to them everyday without ANY complaints.  I am so sorry for all my dumb speeches and thankyou.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And I definitely am not going to forget my family for their amazing gift and party but I'm sleepy, so just quick shout out to mum, dad and sistah.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And if you were wondering about what my friends did, here it is:</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was sad as my exams are about to begin and I'm not ashamed to say that me and my friends are giant nerds and a party before exams is the last thing we need so we decided to not have a party. So, I was returning to the corridor after gym when these dumbasses run ino the corridor with a huge cake and a song and hugs and gifts and cards and an awestruck me. I love these people and words cannot express how happy I was because I hate surprise parties as they giveme anxiety but these idiots did it in the subtle-est manner possible and I felt so loved because I never have things like this happen to me and just Ah- the 500 minute hug each of you gave me. Just- just.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I <3 my dumb dorks.<br>
<br>
And then when I came home from school my cray-cray fam gave me a lit party. Which was subtle too and raised my moods and I love my family so much. Thanks for the watch.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I <3 my weird fam.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm so thankful for y'all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My sis just made me hot chocolate so byeee.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-23376875629169591382017-02-17T12:26:00.001+00:002017-02-17T12:26:21.677+00:00Martian grandchild.<p dir="ltr">HEY YOU! </p>
<p dir="ltr">I was just reading the newspaper today (yes, I do that. Not on my phone, on ACTUAL paper) and I read an article that caught my attention. It said "your grandchildren could be martians" and I got a little too excited. </p>
<p dir="ltr">But what if that actually happened? I'm quite jealous of my grandchildren. </p>
<p dir="ltr">But could you imagine that? Like, instead of living on Earth, you'd be on mars. I don't know how it works, but I'm guessing that there wouldn't be much greenery anywhere and that's kinda sad but imagine having red everywhere. Life would actually be Britney Spears' '..oops I did it again' music video. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I asked my sister (who happens to be sitting next to me) about her opinions on being a Martian and she's not quite impressed. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Okay, grandchildren, if you happen to read this, my advice to you is: GO. GO. GO. And also: take my coffin with my rotting body with you. 99 years of bad luck if you don't. </p>
<p dir="ltr">But in all seriousness, living on mars would be so cool. I haven't gone outside Europe and Asia yet, but I'm already bored of Earth. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I think life is too short. I mean, you have your youth where you can be crazy for 25 years and out of that, 18 should be spent doing what others tell you to do, and the rest 7 can be spent with you taking risks but still building up and the rest 50 years should be spent taking care of serious things. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I wish humans had a life span of 200 years so that maybe I could live on mars.</p>
<p dir="ltr">___________________________</p>
<p dir="ltr">I just realised I posted 2 posts today. That's a record! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Sorry for not doing my writing challenge. </p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-75175839169358588332017-02-12T15:14:00.001+00:002017-02-17T10:42:52.660+00:00MASSIVE FAILURE.<p dir="ltr">Wow!</p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>I really enjoyed completing my 21-day writing challenge.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">And I do have some reasons for my absence of punctuality. </p>
<p dir="ltr">• I had to plan some things for an event. And if you read my blogs regularly,  you know that I <i>love</i> planning things.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• I had to do some shopping for myself. And here's a random fact about me: I HATE SHOPPING. </p>
<p dir="ltr">• I was too busy watching random videos on the internet continuously for an entire day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• I kid you not, I actually forgot about my challenge. It was yesterday night in my sleep that I remembered about this challenge I had taken.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• I don't even know why I took this challenge. Last time I checked, I was the absolute worst at challenges.</p>
<p dir="ltr">__________________________</p>
<p dir="ltr">I realised something this month: being myself and expressing all my opinions actually help me mak more friends than acting 'normal'.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now don't get me wrong. I am NOT shy. I am the kinda outgoing child. And I always have been. But this new academic year, I decided to just act normal, like a good student. And that was probably the worst decision I've ever made. I'm not going to go deep into what others' reaction were, but it wasn't nice. They thought of me as someone I'm not.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I have a case of RBF (kindly Google it if you don't know what it means) so, it always ends up that people judge me wrongly in the first place. But adding my more serious ways of talking made others think even worse of me. So, a few days ago, I decided to be myself and say everything that comes to my mind. And surprisingly, my mates actually laughed and told me that they like me. (Ofc my socially anxious self won't believe that, but whatever)</p>
<p dir="ltr">So if you want to learn something from this post, may it be that never feel the need to hide your true self. Even if it is a little uptight. And if others don't like your true self, that's their problem and not yours.<br>
____________________<br>
<br>
I hope this isn't my last post of February 2017.<br>
</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-60564773890241914612017-02-03T18:42:00.001+00:002017-02-03T18:42:41.748+00:00Ten Interesting facts about myself.<p dir="ltr">Hey!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Woohoo! It's day 2 of my 21-day writing challenge. </p>
<p dir="ltr">(I'm kinda late)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>This blog post is just something random. I decided to write ten facts about myself. You know,  just so that you can know me better. To be honest, I really don't know why you are actually reading this post. I am the boring-est person alive. Like, I'm very serious. So, just a heads-up: like me, this post, too, will be pretty boring.</i> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>P.S: these are just less boring facts about me.</b></p>
<p dir="ltr">_____________________________</p>
<p dir="ltr">1) I am scared of spiders, darkness, pigeons, dancing, being alone in a social situation and huge crowds.</p>
<p dir="ltr">2) I do not have a middle name. Neither do I have a nickname. I am extremely jealous of people who have either.</p>
<p dir="ltr">3) I am 5"6 and weigh 95 lbs. Yes, I am quite thin (size 2) and I am also very uncomfortable when I discuss my weight because some people assume that I starve myself. A lot of people also ask me to model, but those people don't know that you need a good face, too.</p>
<p dir="ltr">4) I went to study music... twice. Once when I was six. I stopped within a year because I was too lazy. Then I started again when I was nine. I stopped it when I was thirteen though.</p>
<p dir="ltr">5) Despite having studied music, I am the worst at it and can hurt people by producing noise. </p>
<p dir="ltr">6) I am <i>the best</i> when it comes to making friends. But, only with old people. Ironically,  I am <i>terri</i><i>ble</i> at making friends with people my age.</p>
<p dir="ltr">7) I have never gone to a concert. And I have my reasons. Firstly, my social anxiety won't let me. Secondly,  my parents won't let me. I do want to go to one, though. Maybe when I'm older.</p>
<p dir="ltr">8) I'm fluent in quite a lot of languages. I can speak 4 languages fluently and just understand 2.</p>
<p dir="ltr">9) My first language is not English, anddue to my anonymity, I'm not going to say what it is, but, it is my most favourite language and the one I'm most fluent in.</p>
<p dir="ltr">10) I'm talented in most areas; I can sing (somewhat), run quite fast, speak in public, draw, write, read, cycle, swim, quiz, spell, and do a lot of things. The only problem is that I am not extremely good at anything. I am multi talented, but only a tad bit.<br>
____________________________<br>
</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJJSWxE3CSVb1w09LztyhahkITMhaa3Jhr3yDg24MX1Qq2sH3FurvNI2OZVcsZu36ETjb5mRemyctqaTnMzpeW8tG7k9zlLfcctBq0I1jAd6H2DwjsQG8TF2GNI8vfPfpNNVMHoqeDJJn/s1600/2af70f09b946f7f65e74421da1db423f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJJSWxE3CSVb1w09LztyhahkITMhaa3Jhr3yDg24MX1Qq2sH3FurvNI2OZVcsZu36ETjb5mRemyctqaTnMzpeW8tG7k9zlLfcctBq0I1jAd6H2DwjsQG8TF2GNI8vfPfpNNVMHoqeDJJn/s640/2af70f09b946f7f65e74421da1db423f.jpg"> </a> </div>The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-66484501226313392952017-02-02T09:15:00.001+00:002017-02-02T09:26:20.076+00:00My earliest memory.<p dir="ltr">My earliest memory probably has to be of when I was about four or five years old....</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was with my dad. He had taken me with him to work. My dad works with boats and he had parked the car with me in it near the docks. I don't remember it very clearly but I think there was water behind me. My dad stopped the car to meet up with his friend, who came and talked to me, and later, my dad left me in the car alone, as his friend asked him to check something, after giving me clear instructions not to move about in the car.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Unfortunately, he forgot to buckle me up.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And if you think I actually listened to him,<i> oh, you are so wrong.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">Me, being my nosy self, saw something in the driver's seat and decide to move from the passenger seat in the back to the front, accidentally kicking the hand gear, which ended up in the car rolling down backwards, to the water. Yes, I'm serious. If this had happened now, I probably would have died due to an extreme panic attack, but young me didn't know the dangers of a car in water. I, thinking that the car would end up being a submarine, kept my hands on the steering wheel and was extremely excited as I was going on an adventure. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Some guys who were standing there saw me in the car and called for my dad who saw me and, in full superhero style, ran towards me, opened the unlocked door, and fixed the hand gear, after which he, in a very un-movie manner where he should have hugged me and called me his life, scolded me for being very naughty. The earlier mentioned friend followed my dad and gave me another round of scolding. (Thanks, bruh)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Another early memory I just remembered of is that of my mum humming tunes to me with hopes tht I sleep at night, cradling me in her hands. :')</p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>Aah.... the nostalgia.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">_______________________________________</p>
<p dir="ltr">Hey you! so, I ended up writing this as I'm kind of taking this 'writing challenge' which I ended up seeing when I was just scrolling through pinterest. I would've written it in my journal, but I decided to write it here instead. Oh, and I'm not going to be writing for 30 days, just 21. And in case I fail, I blame the tests I have going on. And sorry for any grammar mistakes. I'm writing this at 3 in the morning, please have some pity on me, after all I had a terrible maths test today.<br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRf4sA6UM-zt3r-uAKNtvOQi_2V3BL2_3Y7bMogo7VlR2dsxsH2nFJotnC0LEFt2bBUytPVilxKxkWkSkPk_wSyLsevcM4oBMj8wSesTdBEDk6ZUv4XP06ldKNbs3pE5LvU-ilYVfFuMpO/s1600/2af70f09b946f7f65e74421da1db423f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRf4sA6UM-zt3r-uAKNtvOQi_2V3BL2_3Y7bMogo7VlR2dsxsH2nFJotnC0LEFt2bBUytPVilxKxkWkSkPk_wSyLsevcM4oBMj8wSesTdBEDk6ZUv4XP06ldKNbs3pE5LvU-ilYVfFuMpO/s640/2af70f09b946f7f65e74421da1db423f.jpg"> </a> </div>The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-21004729652627710652017-01-12T16:59:00.001+00:002017-01-12T16:59:46.399+00:00Still the same.<p dir="ltr">You see.... I wasn't originally going to write a new blog post today. But, I ended up getting SO MANY signs <i>forcing</i> me to make one:<br>
1) Joey Graceffa kept repeating the word 'iridescent' in his vlogs  and I couldn't help but feel guilty for not having posted anything. <br>
2) I was travelling with my family during winter holidays and I saw some diesel spilt on the floor in daylight, forming an iridescent layer above it.<br>
3) I was reading 'Paper Towns' by John Green yesterday night (<i>I know I am the last person on Earth to read it, but I think I like reading the classics of yore rather than the classics of tomorrow</i>) [also, I felt like it quenched a thirst going on for about a month since winter break ended <i>*looks accusingly at the person who decided to keep the tests RIGHT AFTER winter holidays, making me simultaneously freak out with panic attacks in the middle of the night, feeling like I should start learning while not wanting to learn 'because it's winter holidays' therefore being the reason behind my poor performance*</i>] and I believe I read 'iridescent' somewhere, making me feel terrible for neglecting this thing.<br>
4) I decide to have a nice, calm bath in the evening and while enjoying myself, listening to calm songs, and calmly blowing bubbles from soap, I saw some iridescence on the bubbles, thus making my calm bath not-so-calm and leading me here, in my room with some fries and my laptop, typing stuff.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yeah, let's get into the topic. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Do any of you suffer from a 'sleep hangover' ?<br>
It's a term I made up, probably not, but yeah, I'll explain:</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sleep Hangover (n) : a word used to explain the feeling of being hungover, except that you didn't get drunk, you get it from taking a nap which leads to you waking up, without being able to differentiate between real-life and dreams thus making you all confused and hungover. <br>
Usage: Bro, I can't get over my sleep hangover. Google remedies for me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you actually managed to understand that, congrats,  you are a genius!</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, a few days ago, when all my tests got over, I decided to take a nap after ages, due to the tests I had, and when I woke up, I got sleep hungover and my mum forced me to take a shower to get over my sleepy-headedness. As I headed into the shower, still hungover, I realised that the water was too cold so I kept it running to make it a little warm. And as I stood there waiting, I was thinking about school and stuff when I saw a tiny insect, smaller than an ant, crawling up the wall. Feeling really warmed and all 'aww' after seeing it, I said "hello, little baby" and tried to pick it up. Only, instead of picking it up, I ended up smashing it onto the wall with my thumb. ALL DUE TO MY STUPID SLEEP HANGOVER. And still being hungover, I picked up the dead body of little Jace nd started crying.  No, not the little "Oh, no! I killed it." No, no. I was FULL ON ugly-crying while saying "Sorry, Jace. I'm so sorry,  I loved you." Then, I moved on and after taking the shower, I realised what I did. And I remembered something else. </p>
<p dir="ltr">When I was about five, a huge moth had flown into a hotel room I was staying in, with my family,  and I was so terrified, I kept running away from it. And the moth kept flying towards me. Being absolutely horrified, I was now running in circles while swaying my hand, (while my parents and siblings stood beside me, laughing. A+ parenting, everyone)  so that it would know to stay away when I did it. I accidentally hit it, throwing it on the floor and killing it. I was happy for a moment.  I felt victorious, like I had won a war. But then, my parents said: Oh, no! You killed it! It only wanted to play with you, Oh, no!!! </p>
<p dir="ltr">And I felt like a murderer who just realised that he killed someone. I felt so bad that I went into a phase of depression for about a week. I cried and told my mum that I wanted to bring the butterfly back to life, just so I could play with it. To be completely honest, I still feel guilty.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yeah, great! So, why are you telling this to me?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I realised then that no one ever really changes. I reacted kinda the same way to the death of an insect both at four and fourteen. Sure, their feelings and opinions might change, but there's definitely a side to a person that still enjoys the same things they did before, that still feels the same empathy, and the same pain. Yes, people change; but they don't change.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh! And HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!</p>
<p dir="ltr">(I just realised that this is my first post of 2017)</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-56308305075448368522016-12-16T18:17:00.001+00:002016-12-16T18:23:32.603+00:00Annoyance. <p dir="ltr">It happened again.<br>
I got sad, <br>
No, sad isn't the right word.<br>
I wanted to <i>stop.</i><br>
Stop trying; <br>
Because I fail anyway.<br>
Stop smiling;<br>
Because I'm ugly either way.<br>
Stop talking;<br>
Because I annoy others with every word I say.<br>
Stop loving;<br>
Because they won't love me back any day.<br>
Stop involving; <br>
Because I'm not required anywhere.<br>
Stop existing for a while;<br>
And just take a long break.<br>
I don't want to die,<br>
No, no, I know better.<br>
I just want a rest. <br>
A sleep that will energise my soul.<br>
A sleep that will make me feel refreshed.<br>
A sleep that will make me want to keep going. <br>
I feel like I've disappointed everyone. <br>
Annoyed them, <br>
Broken the last straw.<br>
I'm a terrible human being.<br>
And I don't deserve to exist.<br>
No, I don't want to feel better.<br>
I <i>deserve</i> this pain.<br>
I hurt everyone. <br>
Sure, I say sorry. <br>
But what use is tape <br>
For a heartbreak. <br>
I will get better soon. <br>
This has happened a million times before.<br>
But it still hurts the same.<br>
It goes right to the core.<br>
I will be happy again.<br>
This is just a mood swing.<br>
No, I'm not bipolar.<br>
I refuse to accept it.<br>
Being anxious is enough. <br>
I'm too young, to carry so much.<br>
I will go back to the same.<br>
I will smile again.<br>
I will forget that this happened<br>
But I won't forget the things I tell myself.<br>
I won't forget the rude remarks.<br>
I was never bullied by anyone.<br>
But I was bullied everyday.<br>
By the worst bully ever.<br>
The person who knows me the most<br>
I was bullied everyday <br>
By me myself. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">_________________________________________</p>
<p dir="ltr">So a few days ago, I felt<i> really </i>down. And I decided to express my feelings by typing stuff into my laptop. A few days later, today, when I re-read it, I felt like it depicted my feelings accurately (maybe giving me a cringe attack) and I decided "hey, this isn't <i>that </i>bad, I'm going to post it." And here we are.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope you are feeling good!<br>
Please take care of yourself because I love you.<br>
<u>xx</u></p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-4922560710451955102016-11-11T17:24:00.001+00:002016-11-11T17:24:24.886+00:00BOOK HAUL!!!!!!!<p dir="ltr">You know me. I LOVE BOOKS.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, how can I resist NOT buying a book(s) when there's a sale.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And I MIGHT have gone overboard. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Maybe for some of you this is a regular habit: Splurging on books every month. But for me, I already have a membership at a library and I borrow books from others if I have to. So, I don't have to buy books ALL the time. And even if I do, the maximum I've ever gone is 3 or 4 books. So, this was a completely new thing and I'M SO HAPPY!!!!</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, I decided to go to a bookstore with my mum (who doesn't actually share my love for books but highly encourages it) by walking (as she LOVES it) for nearly an hour and a half (which was worth it, but left my legs sore) through a bea-yow-tee-ful route (but I couldn't take any pictures because I forgot to take my phone :( ) and what was supposed to be a 'only two books haul' ended up being a SEVEN books haul and I'm just so pleased to complain about how badly my legs still hurt. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Anyway....</p>
<p dir="ltr">The books I bought are: </p>
<p dir="ltr">• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -Stieg Larrson : I've heard SO much about this book that it felt bad to just not buy it. It was after I came home that I realised that the book was a part of a trilogy. (Nights of paranoia because I done know what is going to happen, here I come!)<br>
• The Taxidermist's daughter -Kate Mosse : as I saw the book I felt a wave of deja-vu wash over me as I don't know, I just remember seeing the book at the same place and something happening and I thought that it was a message from heaven and that I HAD to buy it. So, I did.<br>
• The Utopia experiment- Dylan Evans : I just saw it and was like; this book needs me and I need this book. So, book, you're coming with me. Nothing more, nothing less.<br>
• The book of lost and found- Lucy Foley : first things first (you're freakishly tall ;) hehe, get it? Huh? HUH? )<br>
THE BOOK LOOKS SOOOOOOO PRETTY. I know that it's bad to judge books by their cover, but still. JUST LOOK AT IT. I've been into romance noves a bit too much lately so I decided to take it home.<br>
• The love song of Miss Queenie Hennessy - Rachel Joyce : It was love at first sight. <br>
• The Trials of Apollo; the hidden Oracle - Rick Riordan : well, the main reason of me going to the bookstore was this book. I haven't read it yet ( I know, DISGRACE) but my bookstore is too slow to get new books, it took me SO LONG to get my hands on it. <br>
• Magnus Chase; the hammer of Thor -Rick Riordan : I actually didn't know that this book had released, so, I was soooo excited when I saw this book, in all its glory on the top-most shelf (which led to me jumping multiple times at the book store, looking like an over excited puppy and then giving up and calling a really tall guy to help me take my baby) I read the first book and REALLY loved it, so, I couldn't resist not buying it. Also, you cannot say no to Uncle Rick. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope you enjoyed this stupid blog where I tried to explain my love for books in brief sentences and if you actually reached here, congrats! I don't know why I said that. I'm sleepy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I need to go. My head hurts. I'm sick (again) so, BUBYEEEEEEEE. <br>
XOXO</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt5EUODPLaef6hD97WVScb8M4fFBz015ZnwsekZ-lLCJKBjyrjhongvhONpLsoi-COJkWIAy6TpvnTUXBlSIVN4cvM2ZlZtBXFLOwx3e3kreWdY2wJrXUaKIrlGfW2p-tllQSg6AcfU6xL/s1600/download_20161111_161721.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt5EUODPLaef6hD97WVScb8M4fFBz015ZnwsekZ-lLCJKBjyrjhongvhONpLsoi-COJkWIAy6TpvnTUXBlSIVN4cvM2ZlZtBXFLOwx3e3kreWdY2wJrXUaKIrlGfW2p-tllQSg6AcfU6xL/s640/download_20161111_161721.png"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyesttVRO2EwsCnPrQCTJaWLn_cb_Hq9gTsELo6spp9yJB1cjoQPsMlO5peS6ZkGAQuADWk7fqeWkD7_lQJ9yPh77VrNnFFUrPFVYuofwOASTcOpR8Dwe2f0su8nuRWQz2x4RbHn38u82i/s1600/download_20161111_161735.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyesttVRO2EwsCnPrQCTJaWLn_cb_Hq9gTsELo6spp9yJB1cjoQPsMlO5peS6ZkGAQuADWk7fqeWkD7_lQJ9yPh77VrNnFFUrPFVYuofwOASTcOpR8Dwe2f0su8nuRWQz2x4RbHn38u82i/s640/download_20161111_161735.png"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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<p dir="ltr">I am a voracious writer. And I love it. I love writing stories, experiences, or even just my feelings. I also love showing them to my family and friends and getting their criticism ((although most of them never really have the time to do that or if they have the time, I'll be too shy to show my creative side to them))</p>
<p dir="ltr">But recently I've been lacking motivation to write.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And no, it's not me being lazy. It's me being afraid. "What if I read it after writing and hate it?" "What if no one likes it?" "What if the format is too shabby and unorganised?" And the most common one: "What if I get made fun of or it?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">I am a total stranger to myself. I am not open even to myself. I don't know what or who I am. I don't know what type of a person I am. This results in me judging myself too often. If I write something and I myself cringe at it, I over think the situation. "What if I had actually shown this to someone else before reviewing it myself? Sheesh. I would have been so embarrassed.  They would have gone and told the entire universe about my cringey writing." And this makes me give up writing for days. Sometimes weeks and sometimes months.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And right now, I'm in a situation like that. It was not my story that made me cringe; it was a poem. And I'll tell you. It was horrible.<br>
                             ______________</p>
<p dir="ltr">What has been happening in my life?</p>
<p dir="ltr">▪ My friend's birthday is coming up. WOOHOOO! No, she doesn't know about my secret space on the internet. Some of my other friends and I are planning on throwing her a secret picnic party next weekend. So, maybe expect some tips or d.i.y ideas for a good picnic. I love organising things and planning on the little details. It just fills me up with such joy. And as a result my pinterest is filled with picnic ideas and I am loving it! (can you say?)</p>
<p dir="ltr">▪some songs I've been loving:<br>
Love me or leave me (little mix) - I am ashamed of myself for not knowing this song earlier. Perrie's vocal in the song is- aah! Soo beautiful.<br>
Ain't your mama (Jennifer Lopez)- my sister and I have been jammin' for the past few weeks to this song and we're not tired. Yet. <br>
Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)- I love to listen to this song whenever I'm feeling down and it always seems to lift me up. <br>
Yeah, I know all these songs are old, but I seem to like songs after listening to them for a long time; I take time to like things.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Wow! I'm sleepy. Let me go take a nap, will you? </p>
<p dir="ltr">BYE!</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-63973381310198308982016-10-10T12:42:00.001+01:002016-10-10T12:42:33.136+01:00A very sick day<p dir="ltr">My sickness increased.</p>
<p dir="ltr">In the morning, my head hurt so much that my mum let me stay home. So, I didn't have to go to school today. (Yay!) </p>
<p dir="ltr">This is my first blog with pictures in it. I'm nervous. They're not great. I took them yesterday, on my way to the doctor's. It's pretty close, so I decided to walk to there.<br>
While the entire world has had their orange leaves, mine are green. I saw some beautiful white flowers on my way too, so I took a picture. Hehe.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ooh! And Zoe's blog looks so cute, doesn't it? The makeover made me soooo excited and happy for Halloween. Have you all picked out your costumes?</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, as I sat home, with nothing to do, I decided to go back to pottermore. It has nostalgic vibes. I actually went down memory lane to my first time on pottermore when I sat on a computer with my favourite cousins and my joy when I got sorted into Gryffindor and the jealousy on my cousins' faces.<br>
But something happened...... *dramatic noises*<br>
I FORGOT MY PASSWORD. AAAAAAHHHHHH!<br>
So, I created a new account to see what my patronus would be. I saw a lot of people had gotten salmon and I was really scared of sharing their same fortune. But FORTUNATELY I GOT A DRAGON. MUAHAHAHA! <br>
But,again, something happened. *dramatic noises*<br>
I re-sorted myself into a house and I got RAVENCLAW! <br>
NOOOO. I'M NOT A RAVENCLAW. I'M A GRYFFINDOR. <br>
<br>
As you can say, I was pretty disappointed and so, I threw my phone away. </p>
<p dir="ltr">So, that was a nice chat. I hope you liked it. If you did, I want you to do something for me. I would really like it if you would come as close as you can to your computer screen and smile as wide as you can. Nope, that's not wide enough. Wider! Yeah, that's it.<br>
<br>
GOODBYE!<br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMWxEIzXYTy5_1YXU-5KLjBYUGXIj1cFelhGIw4N5nZ8-95fCQ0ZS7sHV8B28vbtNGQzzAecKVALlo_8WNeaPjxJYRhTHswfdxE_U7hEJVXDXC9HxJIV9LsuFN4rsKYgyavw3QEEEiWTh/s1600/download_20161010_151323.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMWxEIzXYTy5_1YXU-5KLjBYUGXIj1cFelhGIw4N5nZ8-95fCQ0ZS7sHV8B28vbtNGQzzAecKVALlo_8WNeaPjxJYRhTHswfdxE_U7hEJVXDXC9HxJIV9LsuFN4rsKYgyavw3QEEEiWTh/s640/download_20161010_151323.jpeg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0R4uGDTo_EdTBY9Ss6yiF_O0XVi2m_IP5pTaLGM8-m7NAlWHOLZ_ubEGXNwNaRzEnaQbu-qt2YkDDtomoQiUFtWYLBM8o_6dHiiHhwUiTH-VcBpA5S7Jru9fsu3U4r9FjPXLSi6CL3IaL/s1600/download_20161010_151319.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0R4uGDTo_EdTBY9Ss6yiF_O0XVi2m_IP5pTaLGM8-m7NAlWHOLZ_ubEGXNwNaRzEnaQbu-qt2YkDDtomoQiUFtWYLBM8o_6dHiiHhwUiTH-VcBpA5S7Jru9fsu3U4r9FjPXLSi6CL3IaL/s640/download_20161010_151319.jpeg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIeqY87paqPJllk_XqW4jgvhbjJbzzeXA5J2MlVQ5OCLnmVYdej4au03s4GFprrE-ZX7YSbZNO_Ie6wLmKHudIVzp1AWkmXFDushk6LQkpxEPGcevScoQkzhGN9-Ys9JdM2YcR2YKo4PD/s1600/download_20161010_151315-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIeqY87paqPJllk_XqW4jgvhbjJbzzeXA5J2MlVQ5OCLnmVYdej4au03s4GFprrE-ZX7YSbZNO_Ie6wLmKHudIVzp1AWkmXFDushk6LQkpxEPGcevScoQkzhGN9-Ys9JdM2YcR2YKo4PD/s640/download_20161010_151315-1.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIom_3gPaq_6Ql60RybfIXnGIfvecaaYg1_PqZJAjLxnzcuSaSjSP_PnEcGnGT9Y_Ul36rmFK2hrFQHaXV46dL-ZajufK5uTTX5xpNYkFKwO-f0sXv5y8d2_9VlMOpa8IammsTveeCVtl8/s1600/download_20161010_151214-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIom_3gPaq_6Ql60RybfIXnGIfvecaaYg1_PqZJAjLxnzcuSaSjSP_PnEcGnGT9Y_Ul36rmFK2hrFQHaXV46dL-ZajufK5uTTX5xpNYkFKwO-f0sXv5y8d2_9VlMOpa8IammsTveeCVtl8/s640/download_20161010_151214-1.jpg"> </a> </div>The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-18888532646624279602016-10-09T13:33:00.001+01:002016-10-09T13:35:15.169+01:00Winter frustration<p dir="ltr">HEY THERE!!!!! AAAAAH!!!! HIIIIII, I missed you. </p>
<p dir="ltr">So, I had a few important tests going on for the past two weeks and it has been... well, um, horrible. I forcefully stopped myself from going online and I've had a thousand ideas for my little space on the internet called this blog (:-P) DURING those times.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Right now, I'm cuddled up in a blanket, writing this because it's so cold right now. <br>
(Now I know what you're thinking. Yeah, I know, the weather's been cold for a few days.)<br>
Nope, it's not cold because of the weather. It's cold because my mum decided to leave the air conditioner temperature as low as she could. -_-</p>
<p dir="ltr">The temperature outside is actually leaving me frustrated. WHY IS IT NOT WINTER OR EVEN COLD YET?!?! I can't wait to start wearing cardigans and start covering myself up. It's difficult to not be excited about autumn when the rest of the world already got their pumpkin spiced lattes and you're still sweating when you step outside.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The winter-est thing that happened to me is: I've got a cold. Yes, the flu has hit me. My head hurts as I've gotten sinusitis. :( </p>
<p dir="ltr">Quote(s) of the day:<br>
• this too, will pass.<br>
• do everything with one aim, enjoying.  In that manner, it doesn't matter if you've won or lost.<br>
•take chances.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm about to go to the doctor's to get medication and I need to look presentable, so I need to go. Bye. (I say, to the 0 people reading this.)</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-85105690891365209802016-09-14T15:30:00.001+01:002016-09-14T15:30:55.272+01:00Some updates from my life. <p dir="ltr"><i>Okay, so I'm bored, AGAIN. And I'm feeling really lonely. So, I decided to write again. Let the imagination flow.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">I cannot swear or curse. Like, I've been trying since forever but I just.... cannot. And it's not because I don't know any swear words. I know plenty.. I guess. But I just can't spit them out. It just doesn't come out. I don't want to swear, considering that 14 is too young?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Another thing I can not do, no matter how hard I try is, drum roll please, whistle. I know! Everyone I know can, except me. It makes me kind of uncool. :(</p>
<p dir="ltr">Anyway. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The things I CAN do are... not plenty, but yeah, there are some stuff I can do, which others can't. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I can smile, even when there are plenty of tears in my eyes, which makes people think that I don't cry. Shh..... only you know this secret.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I can bend the pinky of my left hand, without folding the others. Only some people can do this. Try it ;-)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yup, that's pretty much it. I'm pretty talent-less.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh! What have I been loving?<br>
Loads.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Phan. Phil Lester, in particular. He's my little angel. Well, not exactly. He's 29 and I'm 14. So, he's my big brother angel. I love him.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Rainbow Rowell. Carry on and Eleanor and Park were my favourite books for the summer. Oh, I really loved 'thirteen reasons why' by Jay Asher was also really nice.<br>
And Harry Potter and the cursed child, duuuuh.<br>
(I know, I haven't written the review, yet. My friend borrowed my book. So, I couldn't do it.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh! And guys, I was about to say the coolest thing. I got 2 piercings!!! Yay!! I'm pretty 'hipster' now. B-) I already had a piercing on both my ears, but, I wanted to go oveboard, so, I decided to get 2 more piercings on my right ear. So, yeah...</p>
<p dir="ltr">Okaaay. I think it's time to end this. I have school and haven't learnt a thing since it reopened, so, bubyeeeee.</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-59749157481632128952016-09-13T19:24:00.001+01:002016-09-13T19:24:08.315+01:00Dreams.<p dir="ltr"><i>Okay, do before I start thisblog post, let me say, I'm sleepy. Really sleepy. And after that, let me say that when I'm sleepy,  I act as if I'm drunk. So, excuse this blog post if it's a little cheesy, or even a lot cheesy.</i><i>[even though no </i><i>one reads my posts :'(  ]</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">I have dreams. Lots of them. Ever since I was a kid, I was a vivid dreamer. One of my biggest dreams since I was a kid was to become a pilot. And that has, since then, been my main dream. I've always wanted to go to the literature industry and umm, I'm kinda shy to say this, become an author or even just a magazine editor or something. My life goals go like this:</p>
<p dir="ltr">Age 17- graduate school<br>
Age 18- join college<br>
Age 21- graduate from college <br>
               Start working as a pilot<br>
Age 25- go to learn English literature,  professionally<br>
               Start a business with one of my siblings <br>
Age 27- work as an English teacher, editor, or just start up with my book and if all else fails, keep flying high in the skies. <br>
               Also, get married. 27 is my deadline. <br>
Age 30- retire from my pilot job and take up writing and teaching as a full time job.<br>
Age 40- have kids. 4 of them.<br>
Age 50- enjoy life, take chances, live joyfully.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ok, you must have noticed, my life isn't really that clear from 30 onwards. That's because I haven't thought about life since 30. Maybe when I'm older and 27, I'll stumble upon here and think about completing it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The reason why I made this is because recently I've been really confused. During summer, I went to my home country and the first thing most people asked me was what I wanted to do and this time, it was different. Normally, it was a playful question. <br>
"Haha, Mabel, whatchu wanna be when you're older?" "You know what, uncle Sam? Today I really feel like I wanna be a fish." <br>
"Yup, nice career choice."<br>
<br>
But now, it was different. They asked this question. But in a very serious tone. And I'm going to be honest. It was scary. I had the shivers. <b>Shivers in fear of what happened.</b> And according to others, pilot isn't a real profession. <br>
"Mabel, what are your career choices for the future?"<br>
"Umm, uncle Sam, I really want to be a pilot."<br>
"I'm not joking, Mabel, a pilot isn't a real job. You need to think more professional. Like a doctor, like your sister. "<br>
<b>*falls into a spiral of confusion and existential crisises*</b><br>
<b> </b><br>
Okay, maybe that is not completely true, but almost what happened. <br>
And I'm still not sure about what I'm going to doooooo :"( <br>
</p>
<p dir="ltr">What do you think? Should I continue with my own choice or think more professional and do something that does not give me satisfaction? Have you, too, encountered something like this? </p>
<p dir="ltr">Who am I talking to? No one reads these stuff anyway.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Love, <br>
Mabel<br>
xoxo</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-84000616112076812692016-09-02T12:18:00.001+01:002016-09-02T12:18:45.704+01:00So.... I went on a vaction.<p dir="ltr">I WENT ON VACATION. FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This is going to be my first blog post where I'm just going to write stuff that come from the creative side of my mind and where im not going to care if my writings are in the right format.<br>
SO, PLEASE EXCUSE ME.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm not going to reveal where I went but im going to say: it was beautiful. <br>
I have social anxiety, if you didnt know already, and I have to say, going on vacation was really calming. <br>
I hate going out from where I live because of the fact that I can see anyone and everyone from school anywhere and everywhere. But, when I went to this "beautiful" place for vacation, I started becoming myself. <br>
One of the main reason why I don't like going out is because I may see my "friends" and the reason I dont want that to happen is because everyone in my school was born to do one thing and that one thing is: you guessed it, gossiping. Along with social anxiety, im really insecure about myself. So, I'm just really scared if they would make fun of the way I dress or about how I was barefaced or just about anything.<br>
But when I was at vacation, I didn't have to care about anyone seeing me or mocking me because all the time, I heard in the back of my mind that noone there knew me and that this was the last time I would be seeing everyone and that really helped.<br>
I wore just about anything I wanted, didn't shave everyday (keep in mind, I'm extremely hairy) tied my hair anyway I wanted, went full on bold with makeup, went barefaced and without makeup, and, in a long time, went crazy and became myself.<br>
I actually laughed to my heart's desire that my mum reminded me that I seldom laughed and this "new" me was her favourite me. <br>
I didn't have very good wifi there and because of that, I wasn't always connected to the internet and at that time it made me annoyed but now, I actually like the fact that I didnt get much wifi because then, I'd be insecure about my pictures and worry about others judging me via the Internet. <br>
But then I came back and a few days later, school started and I decided to go out a few days after that and BAM! Insecurity. Insecurity. Insecurity. The worst part? I was buying some stuff from a grocery store with my mum and I actually saw a school mate and I literally hid behind an aisle and told my mum to call me when they were gone. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Things I learnt from my vacation:<br>
1) people judge, that's human nature.<br>
2) you can't change people's opinion about you.<br>
3) be yourself. <br>
4) everything happens for a reason.<br>
5) not everything goes according to plan. They go according to whatvwas meant to be.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh, and guys? I got Harry Potter and the cursed child.<br>
(Review + glamour shots coming soon)<br><br></p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-68910600948010048582016-05-15T14:10:00.002+01:002016-05-15T14:19:36.926+01:00FOR ANYONE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME.<i>I apologize again for not uploading. But in my defense, I told you that I don't have a planned schedule. I'm doing this just as a hobby and to have fun. I am really trying to upload regularly but schoolwork is coming in between and I really want to do well this year.</i><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
January and February were awesome. I was having an amazing time. I had won many prizes, schoolwork was amazing, I scored really good grades, my social life was also good; I had so much fun with my friends; we went to theme parks and had really great times. Even the weather was cooperating.<br />
<br />
Then, during March, spring break arrived. I was convinced that it would be like the previous months and that I would be positive.<br />
<br />
But, unfortunately, my predictions were wrong. I ended up losing all the people I kept close to my heart. No, no one died, no one betrayed me or anything. It was like we were separated. Forced to separate. It's true- When the time comes, you have to leave the things close to your heart and be willing to sacrifice certain things. And I did.<br />
<br />
And so, everything changed.<br />
<br />
I hate change. So, automatically, I hated my new life too.<br />
<br />
The purpose of this 'change' was to make my life better but all it became was worse. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. I used to hate my life. My old friends were still there but I still felt alone. I decided to keep all my problems to myself. I went through a 'phase' of depression. I used to get anxious at the smallest things, never get out of my house and I lost interest in everything I did.<br />
<br />
Once, to make myself feel better, I went to watch a movie along with my sister and some of our friends that I'm not really close to. But, I felt horrible. While we were in the food court, my sister went to get something and left me alone with her friends for about 5 minutes. But it felt like 5 days. I teared up and was about to burst out crying. No one noticed, thankfully. But I had the worst 5 minutes of my life that day. When I reached home, I locked myself in my room and burst out crying.<br />
<br />
I really wanted things to change. I wanted it to go back to the old times- when I was the happiest, most self-confident person anyone met. But I simply couldn't. I spent hours on the internet, trying to find motivational quotes to make myself happier but none of them had any effect on me. I used to stand in front of the mirror, trying to convince myself that I was amazing. These had an effect on me but they lasted only for a few seconds.<br />
<br />
I am proud to say that I am recovering. I am slowly seeing myself go back to the old times. And I know that it's slow, but it's happening. I'm slowly gaining my confidence and my happiness back and I just can't wait until I'm fully recovered- until I'm back to the old Crystal.<br />
<br />
And too anyone who went/ is going through a similar phase; Don't make the same mistake I did. Please talk to someone you trust. I'm not fully recovered but I've made an improvement. And I'm pretty much the weakest person I know. So, if I can do it, <b><u>YOU CAN DEFINITELY DO IT!</u></b><br />
<br />
You go, GURL<br />
-<i>Crystal</i>The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6844760290662106677.post-73081584493587853262016-04-10T13:35:00.002+01:002016-08-17T10:25:31.929+01:00The wise,old, lady<p dir="ltr">I'm so sorry for not uploading last week. I don't really have any reason for it. So, as a punishment, you COULD expect another blog post this week. I have not finalized my answer. I'm just saying that I MIGHT upload this week, again. But, until then, ENJOY THIS!</p>
<p dir="ltr">I was angry. Really angry. So, I decided to go there. I went to my backyard and swung like a monkey from a tree to reach the rock. I sat on the rock and looked below at the hut. There were children playing outside the hut. An old lady, her daughter and her three grandchildren lived there.<br>
The daughter was unemployed; she cooked, cleaned, and took care of her children. The children were of ages 5, 4, and 6; they were too young to work. The old lady was their bread-earner. She made a living by cleaning other's houses for them.<br>
As I sat there, tears of anger and sadness flowing down my cheeks, I saw the old lady climbing 'stairs'. They really weren't stairs; they were more like a pile of rocks stacked on top of each other to connect the hut to the higher land. I quickly wiped my tears off my face as I did not want anyone to see me for I am a strong girl. She approached me and I stood up to show my respect to her. She smiled as she said: " I know you were crying, Mabel. There's no need to hide your feelings just because you want to appear bold."<br>
" I was not crying." I lied.<br>
" I don't know about that. But remember, Mabel, you are not worthless.<br>
" Let's compare the two of us: who is prettier? You.<br>
Who is more intelligent? You.<br>
Who has a better heart?"<br>
And before she could say 'you', I interrupted and said "You.'<br>
To you who is reading this: you should remember that you are perfect at being you. Nobody else can handle what you're handling so perfectly well. No one has a heart, mind or face like yours. You are perfect in a different way. Who defines what is perfect anyway?<br>
xx<br>
Mabel</p>
The Inspirational Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17275649080699815176noreply@blogger.com0